Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman

Author:Rosalind Wiseman [Wiseman, Rosalind]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-45997-8
Publisher: Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2009-10-13T04:00:00+00:00

Option 2: Talking to the Teacher

Lots of children and teens are extremely reluctant to tell their teachers when they are experiencing a problem like this. In my experience, the reason is because by third grade, many kids have been told by bullies not to tell or else their lives will get worse, and if and when they do tell, adults rarely know how to handle the problem effectively. They tell the kids to apologize, remind them of the community values posted on the walls, and leave it at that. But like I’ve said before, not all adults are useless. Your daughter needs to go through the process of learning when to go to an adult and which one to go to.

You need to go to a teacher if your daughter talks to the RMG and the behavior continues or this problem has gotten too big for her to handle on her own. But just the thought of “tattling” or “snitching” will make many girls shut down because they are certain the RMG will want revenge if they do. Now, that’s true if she doesn’t have a good strategy and have good people to help her implement this strategy. But the reality is that if she doesn’t do anything but hope the problem goes away, it probably won’t and she’s letting her tormentors have all the power. I’m guessing that your daughter, just like anyone else, doesn’t want to go through life letting the bullies have all the control.

So the next step is to talk to a teacher or counselor. Your daughter should choose a teacher she feels listens to her, respects her, and follows through on her promises. Remember the ally from Chapter 4; you should use the same criteria here. Here’s how the conversation might go in person or by e-mail:

YOUR DAUGHTER: Ms. Wiseman, can I talk to you privately after class today?

ME: Sure, is this something we are going to need some time for or privacy?

YOUR DAUGHTER: Maybe.

ME: No problem. Why don’t you come back after last period today?

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